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Corpse Reviver #1

Image by ReeseCLloyd via Flickr

On to the most dreadful kinds of sitters…

The Corpse Reviver

You know her, you’ve met her before – the sitter from your nightmares, your personal Bride of Frankenstein, you hear the X Files theme song playing in your head as she approaches you slowly and you start shivering  as you anticipate the question…

 “Will he come back?”

 “Will he leave his wife?” 

Given that he is gone with the wind over a decade ago and has meanwhile issued the warrant against your sitter, you can answer it pretty accurately without the cards…  unlike their imaginary lover, your sitter will be back soon, and it goes without saying – with the same question.

A French connection

The sitter who has a thing for Tarot the Marseilles; watch out – as he is watching whether the Empress is looking straight into the Emperor’s eyes – or she is gazing somewhere above his shoulder; is that Page stepping out with left or right foot; does the Knight’s horse seem to be dancing or flying?

He expects you to explain every statement you make by clearly referring to Cammoine’s or some other TdM official Guru’s method ; insights into intermarriages of medieval Florentine dynasties are welcomed, as well as the detailed knowledge of the wooden cuts and presses used in French provinces in the beginning of 16th century…

Pardonnez moi , what was the actual question?

Well, que vous devriez trouver vous-même, pardon my French…


They opt for Erotic decks. They want you to tell them everything they ever wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask…

If you are the Unicorn-Mermaid kind of reader (see previous entry Match made in hell… what kind of reader you are?) , you’ve probably fainted by now; let the Pseudo-Qabbalist take from there and explain them in a dead language where exactly on the Tree of Life their desire initiates and how then it slowly descends through the ten Sephirot and the four worlds into the physical body… by the time the reading is done, the sitter would have probably had lost not only their initial curiosity, but also the desire to procreate ever again.

Copyright © 2012  Lena Ruth Stefanovic
All Rights Reserved

*to be continued*