Tags
Cartomancy, Divination, PayPal, Phaic Tăn, Religion & Spirituality, Skype, Tarot, Virgin Islands
Its I, liberal capitalism, calling upon you.
Pitty that Opra went off air and i missed the chance of a cathartic public meltdown which would have cleared my name and would have made 99% of you empathize with me.
Oh, the stories i would have told… they would have ended as a best-selling self help book… Connect with your inner 1% or something along the lines,
but sadly these are only the dreams of things that never were…
I am being misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed…
My elitist children, my beautiful 1% children are being scorned at and shamed
My heart wrenches as I am lying on a sickbed (in most expensive private hospital, but still)
and i am overwhelmed with such a profound contempt , that i wouldn’t have addressed you
ever
wasn’t it for the outcry of my children, standing by my sickbed and trying to revive me…
I was meant to make you free. I was meant to lovingly let you make mistakes
I had your best interest at heart – you were too fat and had turned away from God
i made you poor so you’ll face Him again
i opened the markets to open your hearts
i moved your jobs to China so you can go to Church instead…
and what do i get in return?
Ungrateful people of hardened hearts!
Its my children begging me to give you another chance…
Repent, oh ye doomed!
Its on their behalf that i am appealing to you for transfusion!
I am giving you one last chance!
Start buying. Now. The more you buy, the more my beautiful children get to produce.
Its an illusion that you are broke. Its the mentality of lack. You must change that.
Get a loan from private lenders. Invest into something. Anything.
Start herding collecting! What do you mean you got everything you need?!
Buying is a state of being, you can never have it all, you must go on!
What do you mean you don’t lust after anything in particular? Are you stupid?! What did your mama taught you? Turn on your TV right now! Don’t you dare skip advertisements!
There is no other way to make you feel miserable and ignite your birthright to keep buying!
Still hesitant? Aghhh, i am being too kind to you – on my own expense… but let me help you out, this time – and its the last chance you get!
What’s your hobby? Tarot… what?! How about your getting golf gadgets? No? It has to be Tarot you say… Well, i’d rather you collected oldsmobiles, but it is what is – let me think what you can do for me…
You do realize i don’t really count on your help, yours is rather symbolical , but still – its the intention that matters, its the state of consciousness i want to get you into…
But you need to meet me halfway.
Here is what you need to do:
1. Register at as many Tarot forums as possible. Skip all the learning threads and focus exclusively on NEW RELEASES section.
If what you see seems too naive of an artwork, too simplistic and without real Tarot symbolism – or it seems to be random photographs with graphic software filters applied – remember, all the judgement is a byproduct of your dual mind, don’t fall into the dungeon of over-analyzing as it might paralyze your index finger and prevent you from hitting the BUY NOW key…
2. Always buy back up decks. Decks tend to wear out quickly – see, there is BEST BEFORE date printed on the box in which they come… Buy at least three copies of each deck without real Tarot symbolism – they will go OOP soon and their price will skyrocket!
No one will laugh at you then for backing up your favorite dark deck ‘Toddlers and Shining Tiaras Tarot’ or the gothic ” Tatooded Sworn Virgins of the Black Mountains” or the ” Real Housewifes/ Plastic Surgery Victims of Phaic Tăn“!
3. Invest into sub-collections! Make your mission to collect every single deck published by a clandestine publishing house from, lets say, Virgin Islands; never use Pay Pal – trust the seller with your credit card details instead.
4. Every single deck, including back up copies, is entitled to its own custom tailored bag, cloth and a set of kitsch Fairies and perfumed candles; matching crystals, semi-precious stones and numerous pendulums are a must.
5. Never buy a Tarot deck while the market is flooded with it it’s widely available – wait until it goes Out Of Print and only then start the hunt down – preferably at online auctions. Before getting your bid on – make sure that all fellow collectors are informed about it, advertise the auction via social networks and forums – the more the merrier!
Now go and start herding collecting!
Copyright©2012 Lena Ruth Stefanovic
All Rights Reserved
NOTE: An original card from the tarot deck of Jean Dodal, a classic “Marseilles” deck. The deck dates from 1701-1715. This image is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.
LOL that’ll annoy some people 😀
LOL!Thanks Vivianne!
i’ve never collected/hoarded anything in my life until i fell in love with the tarot. maybe my grandkids won’t feel it’s waste of money when they have the collection evaluated 50 years from now lol as for anything being ‘a waste,’ i suppose that’s only true if it FEELS like a waste to the person spending the money… if i’m disappointed with a deck purchase, i simply pass the deck along to the next person… making both their day and mine. i’m having fun with this and your article made me smile.
Lol Lisa, i can totally see our grandchildren swapping decks! I am an avid collector myself – and albeit i take pride in keeping only the stuff that i really, really like (some call it being heartless and insist on loving all decks equally 😉 myself i am guilty as charged… don’t ask, even the fairies lol! But i thoroughly enjoy it, i must say – my own madness!
“4. Every single deck, including back up copies, is entitled to its own custom tailored bag, cloth and a set of kitsch Fairies and perfumed candles; matching crystals, semi-precious stones and numerous pendulums are a must.”
lol I am so behind on this point, gotta work more on it :-p Sadly the supplier of fairies are limited in north of sweden. I also crochet my own bags.
I use to say that if you REALLY want a deck it will come to you, but in the end you will ask yourself if it was worth it. Often the coveting is larger then the prize of owning the deck.
I hear you, Jema!!! Not too many fairies in Montenegro either – so i nagged and blackmailed my friends to fetch them from other countries!!! You can imagine tall, big Montenegrin men – usually with a beard or mustache (or both), desperately searching for faeries across European capitals!!! mwahahha! I can’t crochet – but some of my friends and relatives can… yes, you guessed it! 😉 But i love the designer ones too and have some that cost more than the decks themselves lol! I am very picky with decks and albeit my collection is not that big (some 60 Tarot decks and more or less the same of oracles), i had one of the world’s most known collectors swooning over it when she visited! (I am talking of a kind of person who has couple of thousands of decks and are after stuff like Wooden Kasmiri etc. ;)) My decks gave me so much joy – the good ones make you re-think every single concept you ever learned! Lol, ok… ’nuff enabling for today! 😉
oh dear! Sounds like me!!! I’m resisting the temptation to buy back-up decks though. But I do like to acquire new ones….. I like to think of it as philanthropy towards artists 😀
Ali x
“Opra” should be “Oprah” – but maybe liberal capitalism doesn’t like Oprah well enough to spell her name correctly.
I know, but in satire you usually misspell names so to avoid eventual legal claims 😉 Thanks for commenting!