Its I, liberal capitalism, calling upon you.

Pitty that Opra went off air and i missed the chance of a cathartic public meltdown which would have cleared my name and would have made 99% of you empathize with me.

Oh, the stories i would have told… they would have ended as a best-selling self help book… Connect with your inner 1%  or something along the lines,

but sadly these are only the dreams of things that never were…

I am being misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed…

My elitist children, my beautiful 1% children are being scorned at and shamed

My heart wrenches as I am lying on a sickbed (in most expensive private hospital, but still)

and i am overwhelmed with such a profound contempt , that i wouldn’t have addressed you

ever

wasn’t it for the outcry of my children, standing by my sickbed and trying to revive me…

I was meant to make you free. I was meant to lovingly let you make mistakes

I had your best interest at heart – you were too fat and had turned away from God

i made you poor so you’ll face Him again

i opened the markets to open your hearts

i moved your jobs to China so you can go to Church instead…

and what do i get in return?

Ungrateful people of hardened hearts!

Its my children begging me to give you another chance…

Repent, oh ye doomed!

Its on their behalf that i am appealing to you for transfusion!

I am giving you one last chance!

Start buying. Now. The more you buy, the more my beautiful children get to produce.

Its an illusion that you are broke. Its the mentality of lack. You must change that.

Get a loan from private lenders. Invest into something. Anything.

Start herding collecting! What do you mean you got everything you need?!

Buying is a state of being, you can never have it all, you must go on!

What do you mean you don’t lust after anything in particular?  Are you stupid?! What did your mama taught you? Turn on your TV right now! Don’t you dare skip advertisements!

There is no other way to make you feel miserable and ignite your birthright to keep buying!

Still hesitant? Aghhh, i am being too kind to you – on my own expense… but let me help you out, this time – and its the last chance you get!

What’s your hobby? Tarot… what?! How about your getting golf gadgets? No? It has to be Tarot you say…  Well, i’d rather you collected oldsmobiles, but it is what is –  let me think what you can do for me…

You do realize i don’t really count on your help, yours is rather symbolical , but still – its the intention that matters, its the state of consciousness i want to get you into…

But you need to meet me halfway.

Here is what you need to do:

1. Register at as many Tarot forums as possible. Skip all the learning threads and focus exclusively on NEW RELEASES  section.

If what you see seems too naive of an artwork, too simplistic and without  real Tarot symbolism  – or it seems to be random photographs with graphic software filters applied – remember, all the judgement is a byproduct of your dual mind, don’t fall into the dungeon of  over-analyzing as it might paralyze your index finger and prevent you from hitting the BUY NOW key…

2. Always buy back up decks. Decks tend to wear out quickly – see, there is BEST BEFORE date printed on the box in which they come… Buy at least three copies of each deck without real Tarot symbolism – they will go OOP soon and their price will skyrocket!

No one will laugh at you then for backing up your favorite dark deck  ‘Toddlers and Shining Tiaras Tarot’ or the gothic ” Tatooded Sworn Virgins of the Black Mountains” or the ” Real Housewifes/ Plastic Surgery Victims of Phaic Tăn“!

3. Invest into sub-collections! Make your mission to collect every single deck published by a clandestine publishing house from, lets say, Virgin Islands; never use Pay Pal – trust the seller with your credit card details instead.

4. Every single deck, including back up copies, is entitled to its own custom tailored bag, cloth and a set of kitsch Fairies and perfumed candles; matching crystals, semi-precious stones and numerous pendulums are a must.

5. Never buy a Tarot deck while the market is flooded with it  it’s widely available – wait until it goes Out Of Print and only then start the hunt down – preferably at online auctions. Before getting your bid on – make sure that all fellow collectors are informed about it, advertise the auction via social networks and forums – the more the merrier!

Now go and start  herding collecting!

Copyright©2012 Lena Ruth Stefanovic
All Rights Reserved

NOTE: An original card from the tarot deck of Jean Dodal, a classic “Marseilles” deck. The deck dates from 1701-1715. This image is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.