Category Archives: Zen

Living the Quiet Life

30 Tuesday Jul 2013

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By Leo Babauta

When I first started simplifying my life, about 8 years ago, I remember my life being much busier.

I would say yes to everything, and go to lots of social stuff, and drive everywhere doing a crazy amount of things, rushing wherever I went. By crazy I mean it can drive you a bit insane.

These days I know a lot of people who do an amazing amount of socializing online instead of in person — chatting and sending messages and tumbling and posting pictures and status updates. While I understand the need for social connection, I also recognize the addictiveness of it all, to the point where we have no quiet.

Quiet space is incredibly important to me these days. I like my quiet mornings where I can drink a nice tea, meditate, write, as the day grows light and the kids are sleeping. I like quiet on my runs and long walks, so that I can process my ideas, give my thoughts some space, reflect on my life.

The quiet space I allow myself has made possible my writing, but also all the improvements I’ve made to my life: healthier eating, the exercise habit, meditation, decluttering, procrastinating less, etc. Because the quiet space allows me to be more conscious about my actions, and gives me the time to consider whether what I’m doing is how I want to live my life.

And so, while I still socialize, I live a quieter life now. I have my quiet mornings of meditation, tea and writing, but also my nice runs, some time drinking tea or working out with a friend, alone time with my wife, reading with my kids, and some time alone with a good novel.

Is every minute one of quiet? No, the kids make sure I have some noise in my life, and I’m grateful for that, but the quiet is also in how I respond to the noise. A quiet response is one that absorbs the force of noise, with compassion, and doesn’t throw it back with equal force.

Today I wish the quiet life upon you.

Some ideas:

  • Create a little quiet space in the morning.
  • Meditate for 2 minutes a day (to start with). Just sit and put your attention on your breath, returning when your thoughts distract you.
  • When you feel the urge to socialize online, pause. Give yourself a little quiet instead.
  • When you feel the automatic urge to say Yes to an invitation, consider saying No instead, unless it’s something that will truly enrich your life.
  • Don’t take music on a run or walk. Instead, give yourself space with your thoughts.
  • When someone talks to you, instead of jumping in with something about yourself, just listen. Absorb. Reflect their thoughts back to them. Appreciate their beauty.
  • Make time for the people closest to you. One-on-one time is best. Really pay attention to them.
  • Make time for creating, with no distractions.
  • Spend some time decluttering, and creating peaceful space.
  • Create space between your automatic reaction, and your actions (or words). Even one second is enough. In that space, consider whether your reaction is appropriate.
  • Instead of rushing, take a breath, and slow down.
  • Pay attention to sensations of whatever you’re eating, drinking, doing.
  • Have a daily time for reflection.

You don’t have to do all of these, and certainly not all at once. A slow, happy progression is best.

In the quiet space that you create, in this world of noise and rushing and distraction, is a new world of reflection, peacefulness, and beauty. It’s a world of your own, and it’s worth living in.

 

reblogged from zenhabits.net

Uncopyright notice: Leo’s entire blog is uncopyrighted (since January 2008), he has put it in public domain; still, when reposting, BE A DARLING and credit the source of original content because it’s the right thing to do.

 

A quiet day on Darebin Creek, Tom Roberts (1856–1931)

A quiet day on Darebin Creek, Tom Roberts (1856–1931)

 

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The Worry That You’re Doing the Wrong Thing Right Now

16 Sunday Jun 2013

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by Leo Babauta

It’s first thing in your workday, and you open up your email. There’s a host of messages, old and new, asking for your attention. You also open up other inboxes in social media and the like. You quickly go through them and get a picture of what you need to get done right now.

But where do you start?

You begin one task from an email, but then quickly have the urge to see if there’s something else more important you should be doing. And this problem repeats itself — every time you sit down with one thing, the dozens of others on your mind (and the many potential urgent items that might be coming in as you sit there) are grasping for your attention.

Is there ever any certainty that you’re doing the right thing right now?

Does the worry that you’re doing the wrong thing ever go away?

This is something I’ve grappled with myself for years — I sit down to write (this post, for example), and the nagging feeling from the back of my mind pesters me, asks me to check email or my financial accounts or the calendar or various social media. Quieting this feeling isn’t always easy.

But still I get the important things done (usually). This comes from a small set of steps I take that help keep the forces of worry at bay.

I’ll lay out those steps in a moment — for now, let’s talk about where this worry comes from.

The Source of the Worry

Why does this worry come about in the first place? Why can’t we just be confident that this is the exact thing we need to be doing right now? That would be nice.

When we were kids, most of us had someone to tell us what to do. A parent or a teacher, who would give us a chore or assignment, and we knew this was what we should be doing. Of course, it wasn’t always what we wanted to be doing, so there was that. But there wasn’t doubt about what we should be doing, because it was laid out by an authority.

Then came adulthood, where things became not-so-clear. We became the boss of ourselves — even if theoretically we have a boss, in reality we have the ability to choose between a bunch of tasks and projects and communication tools, not to mention having to do personal stuff like laundry and cooking the healthy meals that we’re all obviously cooking for ourselves and picking up the kids. We are making choices all day long, with no one to tell us that these choices are correct.

We see other people pounding out the productivity, and imagine them to be rock solid in their choices, always sure they are doing the right task.

I’m here to tell you that this is an illusion. No one is sure, no one is free from the worry.

The worry comes because we want to be doing the perfect thing, and we also want not to mess up. This would be nice: no messing up a project, or our jobs, or that pesky little thing called life.

So we have the desire: not-to-mess-up or do-the-perfect-thing, and we have the fear (worry) that it won’t happen. This dynamic is present in every moment, in everything we do, unsaid and unnoticed most of the time, present only as background noise but also by nagging worry and urges to run to something else.

We can beat it by shining the light of our awareness on it, and digging in our heels against it, and being OK with it being there in the first place.

Steps to Deal with the Worry

OK, Leo, you say to your computer as you read this (I imagine you staring at the screen of a Macintosh Performa 5200) … just tell me what to do to defeat the forces of worry!

Right on:

  1. Shine the brilliant light of awareness: Notice the worry as you sit down to do a task, or to contemplate what task to do. It’s there in the background. Turn your attention to it, and just notice it. Don’t fear it, don’t hate it, don’t worry about it. Just notice.
  2. Accept it as a friend: It’s always there, and will always be there with you. This worry will go through life with you, much as your consciousness of your own existence does, for as long as your heart shall beat. Don’t fear it, don’t try to kill it. Instead, give it a hug. Embrace it. Accept it. Get used to it. You’re together for the long haul.
  3. Welcome it along on an important task: Pick one task to do now. It can be anything, but choose something that feels important to your life and work. Something that you know will help others and yourself. There might be a bunch of them, so just choose quickly on gut instinct. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be the “perfect task”. Notice the worry coming along with you. That’s OK. Put your arm around its shoulder, and go along the path together, happy in your newfound friendship.
  4. Set an intention to stick with the task: Before you actually start the task, make an agreement with your friend worry. You’re going to stick with this task, at least for 5 minutes, without switching or following the urge to check other things. For these glorious 5 minutes, you will be sure of one thing: you will do this task, no matter if it’s the perfect task or not. Because actually, my friends, the perfect task doesn’t exist, and the search for it is but a grailquest. Instead, focus on this one task, and be sure you’re going to stick with it.
  5. Stick with the task: You probably saw this coming from the last step. The worry will come up — notice it, smile, embrace it like that friend you have who’s always doing crazy things, and then … stick with the task. You’ll be fine. It’ll be great, in fact. Triumphant and exultant.

And if you do these steps, you’ll get your task done, and then breathe. And smile. Because you came a long way, and you might have a long way to go, but you’re here. You’ve arrived. And it’s a lovely place to be.

reblogged from zenhabits.net

Uncopyright notice: Leo’s entire blog is uncopyrighted (since January 2008), he has put it in public domain; still, when reposting, BE A DARLING and credit the source of original content because it’s the right thing to do.

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How to Master the Universe

28 Thursday Feb 2013

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reblogged from zenhabits.net

 

Discomfort Zone: How to Master the Universe

By Leo Babauta

Of all the skills I’ve learned in the past 7 years of changing my life, one skill stands out:

Learning to be comfortable with discomfort.

If you learn this skill, you can master pretty much anything. You can beat procrastination, start exercising, make your diet healthier, learn a new language, make it through challenges and physically grueling events, explore new things, speak on a stage, let go of all that you know, and become a minimalist. And that’s just the start.

Unfortunately, most people avoid discomfort. I mean, they really avoid it — at the first sign of discomfort, they’ll run as fast as possible in the other direction. This is perhaps the biggest limiting factor for most people, and it’s why you can’t change your habits.

Think about this: many people don’t eat vegetables because they don’t like the taste. We’re not talking about soul-wrenching pain here, not Guantanamo torture, but a taste that’s just not something you’re used to. And so they eat what they already like, which is sweets and fried stuff and meats and cheeses and salty things and lots of processed flour.

The simple act of learning to get used to something that tastes different — not really that hard in the grand scheme of life — makes people unhealthy, often overweight.

I know, because this was me for so many years. I became fat and sedentary and a smoker and deeply in debt with lots of clutter and procrastination, because I didn’t like things that were uncomfortable. And so I created a life that was deeply uncomfortable as a result.

The beautiful thing is: I learned that a little discomfort isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be something you enjoy, with a little training. When I learned this, I was able to change everything, and am still pretty good at changing because of this one skill.

Master your fear of discomfort, and you can master the universe.

Avoidance of Discomfort

When people are stressed, they often turn to cigarettes, food, shopping, alcohol, drugs … anything to get rid of the disomfort of the thing that’s stressing them out. And yet, if you take a deeper look at the stress, it’s really an unfounded fear that’s causing it (usually the fear that we’re not good enough), and if we examined it and gave it some light of day, it would start to go away.

When people start to exercise after being sedentary, they are uncomfortable. It’s hard! It can make you sore. It’s not as easy as not exercising. It’s not something you’re used to doing, and you fear doing it wrong or looking stupid. And so you stop after awhile, because it’s uncomfortable, when really it’s not horrible to be uncomfortable for a little while. We’re not talking about incredible pain, but just discomfort.

When people try a healthier diet, they often don’t like it — eating veggies and raw nuts and flaxseeds and fruits and tofu or tempeh or black beans isn’t as thrilling as eating fried, fatty, salty or sweet foods. It’s a form of discomfort to change your taste buds, but the truth is, it can easily happen if you just get through a little discomfort.

Discomfort isn’t bad. It’s just not what we’re used to. And so we avoid it, but at the cost of not being able to change things, not being healthy, not being open to adventure and the chaos of raw life.

Mastering Discomfort

The way to master discomfort is to do it comfortably. That might sound contradictory, but it’s not. If you are afraid of discomfort, and you try to beat discomfort with a really gruelling activity, you will probably give up and fail, and go back to comfort.

So do it in small doses.

  1. Pick something that’s not hard. Take meditation as an example. It’s not really that hard — you just sit down and pay attention to your body and breath, in the present moment. You don’t have to empty your mind (just notice your thoughts), you don’t have to chant anything weird, you just sit and pay attention. If you don’t like meditation, try a new healthy food, like kale or raw almonds or quinoa. Or a fairly easy exercise if you’re sedentary, like walking or jogging.
  2. Just do a little. You don’t have to start by doing 30 minutes of something you’re not used to doing. Just do a few minutes. Just start.
  3. Push out of your comfort zone, a little. My friend and Zen priestSusan O’Connell has a favorite meditation instruction that you can use for any activity actually: when you’re meditating and you feel like getting up, don’t; then when you feel the urge to get up a second time, don’t; and when you feel the urge to get up a third time, then get up. So you sit through the urge, the discomfort, twice before finally giving in the third time. This is a nice balance, so that you’re pushing your comfort zone a little. You can do this in exercise and many other activities — push a little.
  4. Watch the discomfort. Watch yourself as you get a bit uncomfortable — are you starting to complain (internally)? Are you looking for ways to avoid it? Where do you turn to? What happens if you stay with it, and don’t do anything?
  5. Smile. This is not trivial advice. If you can smile while being uncomfortable, you can learn to be happy with discomfort, with practice. When I did the Goruck Challenge in 2011, it was 13 hours of discomfort — raw and bloody knees, sand in my shoes as a hiked and ran with 60+ pounds on my back, carrying teammates and logs, doing pushups and crabwalks and other exercises, needing the bathroom and being tired and hungry and cold. And yet, I practiced something simple: I tried to mantain a smile through all this discomfort. It’s an important practice.

Repeat this practice daily. It will be strange, perhaps difficult, at first, but soon your comfort zone will expand. If you practice it enough, with different activities, your comfort zone will expand to include discomfort. And then you can master the universe.

What You Can Now Master

If you master discomfort, what can you now master as a result? Just about anything:

  1. Procrastination. We procrastinate to avoid something that’s not comfortable, but if you can learn to stay with that task, even if it’s not comfortable. The discomfort isn’t bad. Those of you going through theProcrastination module in my Sea Change Program are learning about dealing with the discomfort of staying with your important task.
  2. Exercise. We avoid exercise because it’s not comfortable, but if we expand the comfort zone a little at a time, we can make exercise something we’re comfortable with, after a little repetition.
  3. Writing. If you want to write but always seem to put it off, that’s because writing is often difficult, or less comfortable than checking email or social networks (for example). Stay with the discomfort, and you’ll write more than ever.
  4. Eating healthy. It’s amazing how much our taste buds can change over time, if we gradually get used to healthier foods. That means going through small periods of discomfort, but it’s not that bad in little doses.
  5. Meditation. We avoid the disomfort of sitting and doing nothing, of focusing on the present. But it’s not that hard — just a little uncomfortable.
  6. Waking early. Waking early means being a little tired for a little while, but that’s not a horrible thing. Read more about rising early.
  7. Learning a language/instrument. Want to learn something new? That means doing something you’re not used to, by definition, and so we often quit before we master this new skill, simply because (you guessed it) it makes us uncomfortable. Stay with the discomfort, and before long you’ll enjoy learning this new skill.
  8. Clutter. Clutter is just another form of procrastination. You don’t put things away, or you let a pile of things you don’t need build up, because it’s not comfortable dealing with it right now (as compared to, say, browsing the Internet or watching TV). But dealing with something right now isn’t that hard once you get past the discomfort.
  9. Reading novels. We tend to avoid simply sitting with a book, because we are pulled towards something more comfortable (again, Internet browsing as an example). If we can just sit with the book and a little discomfort, we can read more.
  10. Empty email inbox. Another form of procrastination — you get some emails, maybe look at them, but put off dealing with them right now because it’s easier not to.
  11. Debt. This is a series of things we have to deal with that are uncomfortable — listing out our debts and bills, making a simple budget, doing things that are free instead of shopping, etc. But I got out of debt by finally facing all of these things, and it was wonderful.
  12. New adventures. Many people stay with places they’re comfortable with, which means missing out on new experiences that might be a little uncomfortable. Even when they travel, many people stick with the tourist sights and food that they’re used to, rather than finding strange but more authentic experiences in a new land. We avoid meeting new people, speaking on stage, letting go of what we know, being open to new things … to avoid discomfort.

And that’s just the start. Within each of these areas there’s many things you can work on over the coming years now that you’re not afraid of discomfort, and there are many other areas of exploration now open to you.

Discomfort can be the joyful key that opens up everything for you.

How to Savor Life

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Tarot, Zen

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By Leo Babauta

reblogged from http://zenhabits.net/mmm/

It’s still dark out and the world remains asleep as I write these words, and I’ve just finished my morning meditation.

I sip my coffee, and savor the stillness, the quietude, the space of being able to think without distractions of the Internet or others.

This savoring … it’s a magical act.

Savoring is usually applied to eating good food: take a single square of dark chocolate and put it in your mouth, but don’t chew and swallow it. Let it sit there, as you savor it, noticing its earthy notes, hints of citrus, the richness of its texture as it melts in your mouth. You swallow it almost regretfully after letting it linger, fully appreciating the delicousness of it, giving pause to think about the people who grew the beans, who roasted and grinded them and hand-crafted them into this square of joy.

But savoring food is just the start: you can savor anything, and you should. It’s wonderful. And it changes everything.

Savoring can teach you to be mindful, to stop procrastinating, to finally exercise, to eat less and more healthfully, to live life in the present, and much more.

Let’s look at how. And, as you read this, I urge you to slow down from your usual busy practice of reading quickly, and savor the reading of this article.

The Practice

The savoring of a square of dark chocolate is a great practice you can do once a day. I like to use tea, taught to me by my friend Jesse of Samovar Tea Lounge, because it is so light (compared to sweet coffee drinks) that you have to really pay attention to get the most out of it.

When you savor tea, or chocolate, or a handful of berries … you slow down. You pay close attention — the closer the attention, the more you’ll get out of the savoring. You don’t rush to the next thing, but stop and give some space to the activity. You aren’t worried about what you have to do later, you are fully enjoying the present.

This is savoring, and it takes practice. You can do it right now, wherever you are: pause and look around you and savor this very moment. Even if it doesn’t seem to be special, because let’s face it you’ve done what you’re doing a thousand times, savor it. Fully appreciate the gift you’ve been given.

This is a practice you can do several times a day — find a few rituals for savoring, like enjoying your morning tea or coffee (without sugar), or taking a bath, or reading to your child, or having a tea ritual in the mid-afternoon, or snuggling with a loved one. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Procrastination

We procrastinate because we are uncomfortable doing something and want to do more comfortable (easier or more familiar) things instead. We don’t want to write that report/article/chapter, because it’s difficult, and it’s easier to check emails and take care of a bunch of little tasks. It’s easier to put off those dreaded tasks.

But savoring can help. Let’s take writing as an example (the process is the same for anything, from cleaning your bathroom to doing taxes) … you have something to write and you know it’s important. The usual way is to say, “OK, I should write this, but first maybe I’ll check to see if anything important came into my email … and maybe my Twitter and Facebook too … oh, what’s this interesting article I found?”

When we savor, we take this task of writing, and we slow down. We give the task some space — no switching quickly to the next thing. We pay attention to it and find the enjoyable aspects of it. And actually, there are enjoyable aspects to any activity, if we slow down and pay attention. When we savor, we notice these things, and fully enjoy them. We bask in the moment of doing, and let ourselves soak in its pleasure.

So instead of switching to something else, we sit there with the writing. We notice our urge to switch and let it go — after all, we’re savoring this, so we can’t just switch! We think of other things we need to do, and let them go too. We’re savoring here.

And we just do the writing, and notice how our fingers feel as they move over the keys, and enjoy the pouring of our thoughts onto the screen, and notice our breathing, our shoulders, our jaw, our legs, our feet, as we sit and write. We know that many people are not lucky enough to be able to do something so luxurious as writing, and so we are grateful for this moment, however fleeting.

Doing the Perfect Thing Right Now

A constant source of anxiety for most people, in this day when we can do almost anything at any moment, is: “Am I doing the right thing, right now?” Should I be exercising instead? Should I be checking what else is going on, in my social networks? Are other people doing something better? Is there a better way to do this, a better tool, a smarter method, a faster way?

When you savor, this anxiety can melt away. You are savoring this activity, so you let the thoughts of everything else go away, and immerse yourself. You give it space and just do this, and fully appreciate it. And so you know that you’re doing the perfect thing, right now, whatever it is, because nothing can be a delicious as savoring this moment.

Eating Mindfully

One of the problems that causes many people to be overweight is that they eat too much (you might say it’s the main problem). A big reason people eat too much is that they eat large amounts of food, quickly. It’s tasty, so eat it fast! And get some more! I know, because I did this for years. Still do sometimes.

But I’ve also learned, much of the time, to savor my food. And when you do this, you don’t just cram it down your throat, but you pause for each bite (don’t reach for the next bite as soon as you put the last bite into your mouth), and you give it space, and you savor it.

This means that you really notice every taste of that bite, the texture of it, and give thought to where it came from, who made it, what went into it (not chemicals, we hope!), and what it will do for our body.

It’s hard to overeat when you savor each bite, and take your time. In this way, you can also learn to enjoy healthier foods, like dark leafy greens or raw almonds and walnuts or tempeh or tofu. You can also eat healthfully most of the time, and then enjoy a bit of birthday cake without overdoing it, because you just need a little bit in order to savor it.

Exercise

I love to exercise, which is a statement most people probably wouldn’t make. I love the exertion of a good hard workout, the good feeling of lifting something heavy, the feel of the ground moving under my feet as I go for a quiet run.

Most people dread exercise, and so put it off. But you can savor a workout. You can savor a good walk or a run or ride. Give the workout some space, and fully be in the moment as you do it, fully notice your body as it moves and works, fully notice your breathing and feet as they touch the ground, fully notice the air and smells and sights around you.

Savoring exercise makes it more enjoyable, makes you more likely to do it, and makes the time you spend doing it perfect.

Living in the Present

Savor everything you do, every experience. There is no moment that cannot be savored — even those routine moments, even those times when you’re having a conflict with someone else, even those times when you’re alone with nothing to do.

Savoring is about learning to live presently, to fully enjoy the gift of each moment, to give that moment the space and attention it deserves. It takes practice, but it’s a delicious practice.

As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life. Buddha

Osho Zen Tarot© 2012 OSHO International Foundation, All Rights Reserved.

3 of Fire, Experiencing, Osho Zen Tarot© 2012 OSHO International Foundation, All Rights Reserved ( more about the card, Osho’s philosophy and deck’ attributions here )

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Just For Fun

15 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by in Tarot, Zen

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Post written by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net

Just about everything I do is just for fun.

While some people like to focus on being disciplined and achieving goals and sticking to their plans, I find this to be meaningless. What’s the point? You’ll fail about a third to half the time, and then feel like a failure for not being disciplined or sticking to a plan or goal.

In contrast, if you do the exact same thing, but let go of the expectation you’ve set for yourself and just have fun doing it, it’s a complete success.

Let’s repeat that for emphasis: if you do the exact same thing, it’s a failure if you have expectations, but a complete and absolute success if you let go of the expectations and do it for fun.

Let’s take a few examples:

  • If you set out on a really tough 3-day hike through some mountains, and make it through the first day and night but get too tired in the middle of the second day, is that a failure? It is if you are mad at yourself for not getting to the end, for not being disciplined. It’s a success, though, if you decided at the beginning to do it “just for fun” and had a great time while you were doing it.
  • If you start writing a book but only get about halfway through, is that a success or failure? It’s a failure if you expected to get finished and are disappointed in yourself for not sticking it through to the goal. It’s a success if you decided to do it for fun and had a wonderful time writing.
  • If you start an online venture and it doesn’t take off and you have to call it quits after a year — is that a failure? Well, by now you know the answer. Have fun doing it, and it’s always a success.

If you go for a walk, a run, a hike, do it for fun, not for the benefits you might get. Do experiments in your life for fun, not for the results. Wake up each day and do something for fun, not to accomplish something. Every waking moment should be just for fun.

It shifts everything. It doesn’t only determine whether something’s a success or failure — it changes your attitude while you do anything, while you’re talking with someone or reading or watching something. Your mood lifts, you are kinder to others, you have a smile on your face.

Do handstands. Dance. Bound up a hill. Sing with your child. Write something with a light and lifted heart. Be love, and compassion, and joy. Live life just for fun.

Post inspired by my (that’s – Leo’s) friend Suraj. 

“Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration, and then you will enter the temple. The temple is not for the long-faced, it has never been for them.” Osho, I Celebrate Myself

Copyright notice: Three of Water – Celebration, Osho Zen Tarot© 2012 OSHO International Foundation, All Rights Reserved.

Leo Babauta, great soul that he is, made his work free of copyright, but PLEASE if you are resharing, reblogging or in any other way reproducing his writings,  make sure that you are giving him due credit.

 

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A Journey Without a Goal

10 Wednesday Oct 2012

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by Leo Babauta, reblogged from zenhabits.net

Nearly every activity we do has a purpose, a goal in mind.

We drive to get to work, to the store, to a class or party. We walk for fitness, or to get to a specific destination. We work to achieve something, to reach certain numbers. We workout to get healthier, to get a nicer body.

But what would happen if we gave up the goal?

What would a journey without a goal be like?

Imagine setting out for a walk with no particular purpose — you might go in one direction because there’s a nice explosion of flowers over there, but then explore a different direction when you see someone playing music, then go in another direction because you’re curious about what’s there.

No destination in mind. Nothing to achieve. Just curiosity, fun, not knowing.

What would it be like to work without a goal? You might write something for fun, because you want to get it out of you, without knowing what the effect of the writing would be. You would figure out the work as you go, without knowing what the finished product would look like.

What would it be like to live life without a fixed plan? Without knowing where you’ll be living in five years, or what you’ll be doing, or what you want to achieve?

I don’t know the answers, but I do know that I’ve been freer as I’ve learned to let go of goals, fixed plans, fixed destinations.

How to Flow

I’ve long been a planner and a goal setter, but I’ve been learning a different way over the last few years. It’s a radical shift in thinking and doing, to a freer-flowing mode of being.

How does it work? Well, to be honest, there’s no one way. But it goes a little something like this:

You wake up, excited about being alive. You wonder, “What do I feel like doing today?” You aren’t constrained to anything at this point, but the question is important.

So you get started, doing something you’re excited about, having fun doing it. Is that thing you’re doing a destination, a goal? Well, in some ways, yes, but it’s not fixed. There’s no set plan, and the destination doesn’t matter as much as the process, the journey.

You start, but you might shift as you go, depending on the flow of ideas, on working with others who might have ideas you didn’t foresee, on things that happen along the way. You couldn’t have predicted these things when you got started, so you have to adapt — no plan can anticipate all of this, no goal would be adequate to the task.

You might even completely shift, if something new comes up, if a new opportunity presents itself. You let go of your idea of what today was going to be, because these ideas of what should be are lightly held. They mean nothing, really, and the important thing is the flow.

You learn to be flexible instead of set. You learn to be good at change and uncertainty, instead of fearing it.

As things arise, you adapt, and let go of your plans and goals. You move with the flow of water, with the changing landscape. You are free to do this because you don’t care where you end up — you just want to be present in your journey, be compassionate with each step, have fun each moment along the way. The destination becomes irrelevant.

No destination or goal matters if they are all good. Each step along the way, then, becomes the destination, and is exactly where you should be.

 

Copyright Notice: Leo Babauta released copyright on this content, BUT be a darling &   credit him for any work of his that you use, and ideally, link back to the original.

 

 

Song Dynasty painting in the Litang style illustrating the theme “Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism are one”. Depicts Taoist Lu Xiujing (left), official Tao Yuanming (right) and Buddhist monk Huiyuan (center, founder of Pure Land) by the Tiger stream. The stream borders a zone infested by tigers that they just crossed without fear, engrossed as they were in their discussion. Realising what they just did, they laugh together, hence the name of the picture,Three laughing men by the Tiger stream.
Source: from http://www.npm.gov.tw 

 

 

 

The Wisdom of Allowing Things to Happen

01 Sunday Jul 2012

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Post written by Leo Babauta

The Master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come.
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.
Dao De Jing

This has been what I’ve been learning over the past couple of years. Allowing things to happen.
It goes counter to our usual instincts in Western society — we are doers, creators of our destiny, we make things happen … we don’t wait for it to happen! That’s what I was taught from an early age, in school and by every motivational sports movie I ever watched. So allowing things to happen is not my normal way.
I have never been one to be passive, to let things happen instead of making them happen, to let go of control of things.
But here’s what I’ve been learning:

1. This control we think we have over our lives and our destinies … it’s an illusion. As the guy who had his life turned upside down by a heart attack, the woman who lost her father to death and had to drop everything, the family who lost their home to a hurricane, the entrepreneur that was doing well until the economy collapsed and no one was spending, the hard-working employee who was laid off when the economy tanked, the cyclist who was hit by a car, the car that skid because someone ran onto the road who had been obscured, the mom whose son has autism despite her doing everything right during pregnancy … it happens every day, where we think we’re in control but we’re really not. Do we control all the people around us who affect our lives so intimately? Do we control the overwhelming power of nature? There’s so much out of our control that what we think is control is really an illusion.
2. To control your cow, give it a bigger pasture. This is a great quote from Zen Master Suzuki Roshi, talking about controlling your mind. I see the cow and her pasture as a form of allowing things to happen — instead of tightly controlling something, you’re opening up, giving it more room, a bigger pasture. The cow will be happier, will roam around, will do as she pleases, and yet your needs will also be met. The same is true of anything else — stepping back and allowing things to happen means things will take care of themselves, and your needs will also be met. And you’ve done no work.
3. You have less stress, less to worry about. Imagine allowing things to happen naturally, and things work out, and all you did was smile and watch. You don’t have to worry about shaping things, about controlling something that doesn’t want to be controlled. You don’t have to push, and fix leaks, and put out fires. You just let things work on their own. They happen.
4. Things will surprise you. Let’s say you’re allowing something to happen. You might want it to go a certain way, to a certain outcome. That’s your goal. But what if you let go of this idea? What if you say, “I don’t know what will happen.” (Btw, you really don’t.) What if you say, “Let’s see what happens.” Then things will happen, but not the way you planned. The outcome might be completely different than what you’d hoped for. But it can still be great, just different. It might even be wonderful, and surprising. Surprises are good, if we accept that things always change and that change is good.

5. You learn how things work. Instead of trying to make things work the way you want them to work, just watch them work. You’ll learn much more about human nature, about the nature of the world, as you see things work without you controlling it. It might change you.
That’s all very good, Leo, you’re thinking. But that won’t put the food on my table.
Maybe you’re right. And so, don’t let me stop you from what you need to do. Carry on. I’ll just sit back and watch.

Picture of Chinese Garden Pond:

http://www.featurepics.com/FI/Thumb300/20100430/Typical-Chinese-Garden-Pond-1522527.jpg

Leo Babauta’s blog: http://zenhabits.net/

Three Little Habits to Find Focus

10 Thursday May 2012

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Photo by PlusMinus; pemission: GFDL cc-by-sa

by Leo Babauta

I’ll be the first to admit that I fall victim to the trap of the Internet — a wonderful empowering tool that can fill your day with distractions, a million little “productive” tasks that matter little, constant interruptions from messages and status updates.

Who doesn’t fall victim to this?

We are frittering our lives away.

So how do we beat this? How do we make best use of the awesomeness of the Internet (which has given me the power to do what I love) without succumbing to its powers of distraction? This is a question that obviously occupied the minds of the ancients, from Aristotle to Lao Tzu (who was particularly prone to Lolcats), without any good answer.

I have good news. There is a way. It’s not always easy, but I’ve done it, and if I can do it, anyone can.

It takes three little habits:

1. Set a time limit. Pick something important to do, and set a limited time to do it. That might be one hour, or 20 minutes, or even just 10 if you’re having a hard time getting into it. The time limit helps sharpen your focus. If you have limited time to do something, you’ll be forced to decide what’s important. It also means you’re not doing some unlimited task that could take hours, but a very specific one that will be over in X minutes. Setting a limit is good too for when you decide to process your email — only 20 minutes to get as many emails processed as you can, for example.

2. Close everything. This means everything possible on your computer that isn’t absolutely necessary for the task at hand. If you don’t need the Internet to write something, close it. Close email, all notifications and reminders, all programs not needed for your task. If you need your browser open, close all tabs — bookmark them, or save them to a read-later service likeInstapaper. You can always open these sites when you’re done.

3. Pause before switching. So you’ve closed everything else, you’ve set a time limit for your task at hand, and you’re getting started … but then you get the urge to check email or Facebook or Twitter. You want to see what’s happening on Instagram or Pinterest or Youtube. Stop. Make yourself pause for 5-10 seconds. This is the key habit that makes the other two work. Take a deep breath. Think about whether you really want to fritter your life away doing those things all day, every day, or if you want to do something great. Choose great, most of the time.

These are little habits, and you can do them. When your time is up, you can give yourself a few minutes’ break to check your favorite sites, and then close them again. But when you’re trying to focus, practice these habits. They’re a small price to pay for a life not frittered away by distractions.

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the illustration: Tofukuji Reiun-in Gaun-no-niwa Kyoto,Japan; source: Photo by PlusMinus; permission: GFDL cc-by-sa http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ReiunIn_GaunNoNiwa.jpg

reblogged from http://zenhabits.net/focused/

more from Leo Babauta http://leobabauta.com/

Be able to walk away | mnmlist.com

21 Tuesday Feb 2012

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English: Zen Habits Logo

Image via Wikipedia

In any kind of negotiation, your ability to walk away is your strongest tool.

Those who can walk away from the negotiation — legitimately walk away, not just make a show of it — are in the strongest position. Those who are convinced they need to make the deal are in the weakest position.

This is true of negotiating when you’re buying a car, closing the sale of your new home, haggling in a foreign flea market, or trying to get a raise.

It’s also true of anything in life.

Know that there’s almost nothing you can’t walk away from.

If you are convinced you need a nice house with a walk-in closet and hardwood floors and a huge kitchen, you now have a weakness. You will give away precious life hours and savings to get it. Someone else who knows that those things aren’t absolutely necessary can walk away, and not need to spend so much money (and thus work hours) on that kind of house.

If you are convinced that you need Stabucks grande lattes every day, or an iPhone or iPad, or an SUV or Cooper Mini or BMW … you are in the weak position, because you can’t give it up. Someone else might know that those aren’t essential to happiness, and can walk away.

If you know that the man who is treating you badly (but who you just know will change someday, because, you know, he loves you) isn’t necessary for you to be happy, you can walk away. If you know that you can be happy alone, and that you need no one to make you happy, you can walk away.

If you know that there’s almost nothing you can’t walk away from, you can save yourself tons of money. Years of time. Mountains of headaches and heartaches. Boatloads of suffering.

You don’t need to walk away from everything, but you should know that you can. And when the cost of the deal is too great, too dear … walk away.

uncopyright: mnmlist.com  is a site by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits.

Leo Babauta has released all claims on copyright and has put all the content of this blog into the public domain.