Tag Archives: Madonna

Single Girl, the Skinny God and the Plague of Labeling

14 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Essay

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Helen Gurley Brown

Helen Gurley Brown (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Somehow I believed Helen Gurley Brown, the legendary editor of Cosmopolitan, was immortal.

In my twenties i was regularly reading all three editions of Cosmo i could get – US, UK and Italian one – and i did find there the answers i was looking for at the time.

I still know by heart good part of HGB’s best selling book “Sex and the Single Girl”.

I really couldn’t care less whether HGB is widely considered as having contributed to feminist movement and i am really sick and tired of this worn out discourse.

Firstly – please, define contemporary feminism for me, would you? Women’s rights is one thing, but now that we have them (bowing to all who contributed), isn’t it the time we left all this sickening paradigm behind?

I doubt anyone believes nowadays that working women “leave their husbands,  practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians”, but even if a lady chose to do so –  Wicca is a recognized religion by now, capitalism ate itself anyway and US has just promoted its first female and openly gay general.

Honestly, i couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me personally – as long as my rights are guaranteed – mind you, i am straight and an observant Jew.

Why bringing up Judaism? Well, recently a dear friend of mine posted links on facebook where a right wing Israeli Rabbi has a heated discussion with some Russian nationalist, it made me sick – both of them and the debate itself.

My friend who is an intellectual  par exellance, listed several valid reasons for doing so – among them the fact that rabbi in question is one of the few respected by Russian nationalists… Listen, i can’t stand nationalist of any kind – and i don’t care at all what they think and whom they respect, as far as i am concerned, nationalist of all backgrounds are cheap demagogues and in my opinion are best kept in the basement, tied up,  with clothes sucked up in chlorophyll pushed into their mouths – BUT, the latter would breach their right to free expression, so as long as they don’t cross the line of hate speech, whenever i hear them, depending on circumstances,  i either walk out or simply turn off the tv.

Recently when Marissa Mayer became Yahoo CEO, upon her stating she wouldn’t call herself a feminist – there was a media outcry in the vein of GOODNESS, HOW IS SUCH HERESY POSSIBLE?!

Hear, she ain’t neither Secretary of State nor a spiritual leader, she is not paid to fight for someone’s rights – but to head a company; she proved that a ‘gal can do it, what else do you want? On what bases do you make your pretenses in the first place?

It’s really beyond my comprehension.

Same with Helen Gurley Brown of blessed memory.

I never asked myself was she a feminist – she was empowering women and that was good enough for me – more so, it won my eternal admiration for this small town girl who moved to the big city without having higher education or outstanding looks and who became one of the most influential women of 20th century.

HGB was restricting calories, believed that “Skinny is God”, worked out 90 minutes daily – even on the day of her mother’s funeral, she didn’t have children, she was not against single girls having sugar daddies – and she was brutally honest about it all, that’s the main objections most have about her; personally, i couldn’t care less about any of the above and it’s other ideas i picked up from her and find invaluable.

Don’t forget she wrote her book 50 years ago when sex was mostly unthinkable of before and outside of marriage, but even that doesn’t matter – what mattered to me was her work ethics and it’s there that i bow to her.

She was against intimisation with superiors, and so am i. She campaigned for women to invest into their knowledge and working skills and into making themselves irreplaceable in their careers, not in their lover’s beds – that’s my mantra too and it did wonders for me.

She was stressing all the time how important it is to have a good and supportive boss, one from whom a girl can learn and who will help her career. Fast forward 50 years – it’s still the most important thing, albeit now it doesn’t matter anymore whether the boss is male or female.

A proper superior is worth of gold – they become a role model and – from my personal experience – probably the most important influence in a girl’s life, after her parents’.

I worked both for men and women, and i was superior both to female and male interns – in my experience, the gender doesn’t matter anymore, but if you worked both for a psychopath and for a good guy/ gal – you’ll know exactly what i am talking about.

So these are the things where i agree 100% with HGB. Also, i agree on importance of protein intake (doesn’t have to be of animal origin – mushrooms, beans and tofu rock) and regular exercise as well; my mother being a certified and practicing nutritionist of  old school – i know how evolutionary Ms Gurley’s views were at the time.

Where i disagree with my own mother – yet agree with HGB is the ‘natural looks’- my own mother always went for au naturel look, while i personally dislike gray hair and adore make up.

Don’t get me wrong at 75 my mother is – thanks goodness – still going strong, regularly having her facials, her hair, mani and pedi done, she loves accessories and dresses up – think of Hillary Clinton style as of recent – with glasses and sans make up,  that’s my mother’s favorite look.

For myself – without imposing anything on anyone – i love meticulously maintained women, and i love being one, the class of (if speaking of role models from the past) Raquell Weltch who admits she needs three hours to get ready for going out.

Tastes vary, it’s as simple as that.

I am a big fan of Madonna Louise Ciccone and i adore her for all the age-defying thing that she does. Do i think she should sit at home so to get out of the way of the younger talents? Not at all – try dethroning her, if you can – and keep trying hard, as she raised the bar very high.

Not to forget the sheer horror Madonna’s own role model – kabbalist Karen Berg, author of “God Wears Lipstick” – causes among certain Orthodox Jews.

If you are interested in my scientific back up of the postmodern Kabbalah – look up among earlier posts here the notes from lecture “Everything you always wanted to know about Kabbalah” which i read in American Corner (cultural outpost of US State Department) in June this year within “Jewish American Heritage Month”, i won’t go into explaining it here.

I don’t label myself a feminist either, albeit i think by most i am considered such; the thing is that i simply don’t think in that terms.

My premise never was that i am a woman – i am a hard working, ambitious and goal oriented person, (spare couple of drunken hints by men to whom i was superior, which i dismissed as ephemeral stupidity) i was never sexually harassed at work and i never used cleavage or pouty lips to climb up; nevertheless i achieved the highest rank in a traditionally male job, wrote and published three books meanwhile, managed to pay off my own Mercedes-Benz at age of 35, i have my own place and am most happily unmarried at the age of 42 – in full honesty, i couldn’t possibly ask for more and it’s women like HGB, Madonna and Karen Berg i look up to.

R.I.P. Helen Gurley Brown, your contribution is immortal to me.

10 Best Tips From ‘Sex and the Single Girl’:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/14/helen-gurley-brown-10-best-tips-from-sex-and-the-single-girl.html

HGB, the Queen of Lipstick Feminism: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/helen-gurley-brown-the-queen-of-lipstick-feminism/article4479857/

An interview with Karen Berg: http://www.awarenessmag.com/janfeb6/jf6_kabbalah.html

Everything you always wanted to know about Kabbalah*

28 Monday May 2012

Posted by in Kabbalah & Western Hermetic Tradition

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from left to right: L.R.S., I. Lazarevic, T. Bakic, V. Simunovic[slideshow]

*but were afraid to ask

notes from the lecture ‘Let my people know’, held on May 23d t.y. in American Corner, Podgorica in the framework of Jewish American heritage month

Kabbalah , that ancient mystical worldview, at the same time, paradoxically, is the most interesting contemporary philosophical phenomenon.

When it comes to the mystical traditions in the framework of Judeo-Christianity, we can say that since Victorian England and A. Crowley’s Thelema, not a single school of philosophy has caused such a stir as postmodern Kabbalah did. (Not to forget that Crowley’s Qabala is also rooted in Jewish Kabbalah, albeit way more liberal and adjusted for those who aren’t religiously observant.)

Postmodern Kabbalah is a phenomena that developed in two directions: first religious Jews during 60es  imported Jewish Kabbalah to America; which is, in 1965 rabbi Filip Berg and his teacher,  rabbi Yehuda Brandwein, founded outpost of the prestigious Yeshiva Kol Yehuda  in USA; from there, couple of decades later, liberalized and emancipated triumphant Kabbalah returned to the Holy Land, where many – including names like Gershom Sholem, had written it off.

This very lecture is based on the positions of the Department of Philosophy of Ben Gurion University – academically the highest rated university in Israel – and it’s leading Kabbalah scholar, professor doctor Boaz Huss.

Root of the word “Kabbalah” comes from Hebrew verb  le kabel – to receive, it’s a kind of knowledge that can not be acquired individually, from books only, but requires a teacher who has appropriate Kabbalistic lineage.

(My own teacher is a student of Yehuda Berg, son of rav Berg who founded Kabbalah Center.)

Back on the topic of Kabbalah. Today, some  13% of American Jews are traditionally observant (“orthodox”); they lead the same way of life as their grand grand fathers did in the old world; by choice they refute secular education, modern culture and media, while living in insular and self-sufficient communities.  Personally, i find it a positive occurrence, because in that way traditional Judaism is preserved – but to me such way of life is alien and unacceptable.

Here we arrive to the biggest challenge of the contemporary spirituality – organized religion’s popularity is declining everywhere in the free world, religious institutions with educated parts of the society cause almost exclusively contempt and disdain – yet the need to find meaning in life probably has never been bigger.

In that “no one’s land” between dogma and atheism – Kabbalah is reborn, as an American phenomena, child of the intermarriage of Orthodox Judaism and American liberalism – all together with the red string, whistling Madonna’s  “Im nin alu”.

In US, western civilization is generally referred to as Judeo-Christian, which is the most obvious indicator of the acceptance of the common source of both traditions – such attitude and KC’s fundamental position that Kabbalah is appropriate both for Jews and non-Jews, contributed to the popularity of the movement and of the wisdom itself … that is – the science itself.

Ben Gurion University does define Kabbalah as science, albeit in this definition some methodological challenges are acknowledged – the only available method for academic research of Kabbalah – is linguistic.

As we know – Kabbalh is basically gematria – Hebrew letters have numerical value – and total sum of all numeric values of individual letters in a word is compared and juxtaposed with other words with same numerical value; that grants us the possibility for an indepth reading of the Torah.

Thus, for example, the numerical value of Hebrew word for vine, yayin, (spelled:yud-yud-nun, equals 70)  is identical to that of the word for secret (sod); thus, on the forth, deepest level of reading of the Bible, the infamous Egyptian Pharo becomes our own ego made of uncertainty and fears, and Israel – the individual soul craving freedom and love.

When it comes to the teaching itself  – Hillel, a wise man who lived at the very turn of the era – formulated its essence in the following manner: Love the neighbor as yourself, now go and learn.

The main text of Kabbalah – Zohar, which is a commentary on the Torah, is of Encyclopedia Britannica’s volume; except that – Kabbalah is a way of life which includes adherence to a different calendar, dietary rules, special praying books and numerous holidays; what matters the most is the particular intention one has, the  consciousness if you wish (kavvanah), while performing these rituals and observances.

Calendar which Kabbalists use is the traditional Jewish calendar, dietary rules as well, and so are the holidays – it’s the approach itself that is very different. Traditional approach is historical – religious holidays are the celebration of some ancient events, important for the history of the Jews; kabbalistic approach is mystical – every single holiday is viewed as a possibility to connect to the Light of the Creator and thus to achieve both spiritual and worldly progress.

Here we arrive to one of the most bitter arguments against Kabbalah – that it is not suitable for non-Jews; professor doctor Boaz Huss deconstructs the former position as follows: kabbalistic premise is that the Light of Creator is undifferentiated, how could  there be such separation in the first place?

Not to forget that the strongest opponents of neo Kabbalah and KC itself are some orthodox rabbis who have their own schools of Kabbalah – albeit by far not as successful    as KC.

Oftentimes, the argument of “authenticity” is used – firstly, there isn’t a definition of authentic Kabbalah, secondly – scanning of Zohar, red string, devoted studies of astrology and belief system based on reincarnation are typical of all Kabbalah schools; regarding the canonical adherence, in KC the traditional Sephardic canon is observed, so these accusations are insubstantial.

From the other side, it is this very traditionalism that some liberal American thinkers find outdated and reactionary, even cult-like; when it comes to the latter, we do know from history that the difference between a cult and a religion – is merely a hundred years.

Presumed commercialization and involvement of entertainers with the movement are also often used as contra arguments  – i believe it goes without saying that life was very different once upon a time in Ukrainian and Polish shtetls, than it is today in contemporary north America in the times of liberal capitalism; to judge one by the measurements of the other i find ridiculous.

Yehuda Berg himself, the leader of KC, last decade or so is inevitably included into the NY Times list of the most influential rabbis – and always somewhere close to the top of the list.

All of it is quite an unexpected turn both for the religious fundamentalists and for the academic scholars, followers of Gershom Sholem – not to forget that the latter claimed Kabbalah to be absolutely irrelevant once the Zionist project came to be and the state of Israel was founded.

Postmodern Kabbalah, speaking in Hebrew with thick American accent and proudly wearing the red string on the left wrist – has denied him irrevocably.