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moderndayruth

~ Tarot inspired essays and more

moderndayruth

Tag Archives: United State

i wish there would be following Facebook buttons, besides Like:

02 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by moderndayruth in Humor

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Android, China, Facebook, First Amendment, First Amendment to the United States Constitution, Health, iLike, India, IOS, Online Communities, Social media, Social Networking, Social Sciences, status, United Nations, United State, Update, World population

1. i agree 100% with your update (whatever it is & usually it’s something highly irrelevant to the 99% of world’s population) AND i wish i thought of it myself, but then i am a non-native speaker and still couldn’t word it so neatly, so i feel tad envious too;

2. i disagree completely, more so – i almost hate you right now, but can’t remove you from friends because there is no reasonable explanation to my neurotic reaction for our mutual fb friends, thus i’ll pretend i haven’t read your status AT ALL;

3. i didn’t reply to your cry for help not because i am insensitive, but because i am in another time zone and now, 22h later,  i feel embarrassed to say anything at all;

4. i hate prolonged status updates posted late in the night, i mean, c’mmon, who has the focus for that in this ADD era?!

5. you are plain WRONG, but i am too tired to argue, so here is a passive-aggressive Like with a smirk ;

6. you post in a language i don’t speak, but you look kinda hot on your profile picture, so i Like your update & keep my fingers crossed that it isn’t about your companion being ill or something;

7. iLike your status, i really do, but it’s quite personal and i am neither sure who you are nor why i added you to friends, so i’ll pass;

8. i have no idea what you are talking about & i am too busy to read it all, but given that 78 mutual friends liked your status & commented on it Like it is!

9. despite being called ‘most anti-social invention’ by some,  a Facebook “like” is a form of speech protected by the First Amendment; “Liking” something on the social media site is a “substantive statement” being made by a user – and i don’t take those lightly, because the mere sound of the phrase is legal-power-igniting & it doesn’t matter the least that i am not sure at all what substantive statements are!

10. iLike what you are saying, it comes across as intelligent and eloquent, but i am uninformed on the topic& can’t be bothered to read extensively about it, so to comment appropriately, thus i’ll pretend that i missed this one, albeit i didn’t;

11.  i think i Like your status, but i am not sure & it’s my bedtime (i am in another time zone)

12. i like your status, but then i think your significant other won’t like yet another Like of mine on your Facebook wall;

13. you haven’t Liked any of my statuses recently & being a firm believer in Facebook reciprocity, i pass;

14. yours is a marketing douchebaggery, so no Like from me, despite the big puppy eyes you are making;

15. if i Like this, you’ll expect me to Like other stuff of yours; if i do – then you’ll invite me to Like your Facebook page, if i do that – all your Facebook friends will start nagging me to Like their respective Facebook pages and i don’t really like many of their pages, but would feel thorn apart if i liked some and wouldn’t like others and i don’t wish that kind of anguish for myself, so i pass!

facebook

Related articles
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  • I Have an Unlike Button & I’m Not Afraid to Use It !! (Week 7: Blog 1) (jwoodard73.wordpress.com)
  • Your Facebook “Likes” Are an Expression of Free Speech (blogs.smithsonianmag.com)

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Communist Calendar (excerpt)

04 Friday May 2012

Posted by moderndayruth in Satire

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Clara Zetkin, Engel, Iron Curtain, Karl Marx, Marx, Santa Claus, Soviet Union, United State

public domain

Proletarian revolution shall prevail and America and England shall become proletarian countries, we were told behind the Iron Curtain. We hoped Americans and Englishmen knew better.
By the age of fifteen everyone i knew had realized that we lived in a farce and that what we were thought was a lie. All of it.
We were told that a person who was raised in socialism had nothing to do in the West. The West was rotten, you see.

Evil capitalists were sucking blood from the working class that suffered – but, due to unknown circumstances, the latter weren’t yet class-conscious enough so to get the manufacturing tools into their hands and overthrow the parasites- capitalists. We weren’t thought how much it would take them to do so, but the future looked bright and we were encouraged to be looking forward to living in it.

It all sounded very much like Tikkune Olam being completed, the ultimate Judaic spiritual correction of the world, with the difference that the Messiah – Marx – had already arrived.
But, we needed to better our consciousness for his teachings to start working fully. He had proved that capitalism will fall – and there was no way of avoiding that, it was just a question of time.
Meanwhile, we had to move from socialism, where everyone gave according to abilities and was given according to needs- to communism – that’s where the money would finally stop existing and everyone would be perfectly happy to contribute selflessly to the society whatever they could, while the society would take care of every single whim of theirs, or something like that.
I was 13 or so when i told to my father that it won’t work, that there is no way it would – as no one would get up from their beds in the morning under such circumstances.
He said i didn’t get it, you see, he believed in the fairy tale he was told, in the proletarian revolution, which turned out to be the biggest Jewish upraise in history, following the appearance of the long-awaited Messiah – Carl Marx.
It’s only that everyone denied they were Jewish – and Marx in the first place.
For the communist, the chosen one, it did not matter.
Marx was the new Moses, Engels was his brother – Aaron and Clara Zetkin was the incarnation of their sister, Miriam.
Capitalists were the Egyptians from whom we had to escape – the might of the super-powerful Soviet Union, which in the new pantheon had replaced (infamous by then) Hashem – would have protect us from the Capitalists- Egyptians, as the chosen proletariat would cross the parted Red Sea and reach the communist shore of the other side.
Then all would be happy, on this shore of milk and honey and we would forget all we suffered back in Egyptian capitalism and would live happily ever after.
It’s only that we were still in the desert, after 70y of parting from the Capitalistic Egypt, and manna had stopped long time ago.
Marx had retired to some Sinai of his, yet wasn’t showing signs of coming back.
Tzaddikim, righteous souls, in form of the Presidium of the Communist Party were there to protect us though.
The mixed multitude that followed the chosen Soviet people on their way to communist freedom was indeed mixed – it constituted of Afghans, Mongolians, Cubans and even Africans, but all were equal (albeit we could see that some were more equal than the others.)
We witnessed miracles which proved it – Gagarin was in cosmos after all. The TV and newspapers were repeatedly proving how our prophets were right – every day in every way we were getting better and better and all of it was documented.

Throughout our communist history we were thought poisonous replicas of Biblical stories. Stalin had sacrificed his own son, in the same way in which Abraham the patriarch was ready to sacrifice Isaac… it’s only that in Biblical account, on some deeper level, Abraham’s binding of Isaac represented restriction of one’s own negative inclinations, while Yosif Visarionivich turned out to be a paranoid schizophrenic and mass murderer; back then we couldn’t know any of it.

They had even invented a calendar of their own, which varied slightly depending on whether you were in the Eretz USSR – or – in diaspora, in one of its satellites.
But the High Holydays were observed by all, with no exceptions.
The Victory Day, May 9th was one such Holy Day where you were commanded to make pilgrimage to the nearest monument of Unknown Soviet Soldiers, bow deeply and present sacrifices – the bouquet of carnations.
The New Year was, of course, the communist Christmas and Ded Moroz aka Grandfather Frost was the new incarnation of the late Santa Claus, he had lost his sanctity, but had gained a granddaughter, Snegurochka – the Snow Maiden – who would become his companion and consolation in the modern times.
The Christmas tree was still there – only it was renamed “elechka” – little fir tree – and was crowned with five-pointed red star at the top.

There were traitors, the infamous Spies who were sent as forward observers to those distant lands; some of them would give in to their negative inclinations and would cross over to the giants, the sons of Anak who saw us as grasshoppers. They were cursed for ever to burn in the capitalist hell, headed by – as we were thought – by some second rate actor, who by default couldn’t be a first-class president. Unlike our presidents.
It’s only that ours were dying one after another, and their was thriving.
We would have days off school when yet another mummy-like looking Soviet president would die and we weren’t happy when Gorbachov came into power; he seemed too young to be dying anytime soon and we felt deprived of the free from school days.
He was dabbed Mineral Secretary as he started the war on Votka. He never knew what chaos would start when Russians finally sobered up.

Copyright ©2012 Lena Ruth Stefanovic, All Rights Reserved

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